Paul Haden 1961 to 1968
Such was the demand for Catholic Grammar School places in the 1950s and 60s, that quite a few St Mary’s boys travelled considerable distances to get to school.
One town that supplied many boys was Gravesend, where Paul Haden who arrived in 1961 came from. Paul recalls: “Before the first term we went up for an open day at St Mary’s to get the lie of the land. My initial reaction was one of amazement. Whereas my junior school consisted of two Victorian classrooms right in the centre of town, this was positively rural. Surrounded by acres of playing fields, it seemed vast and so airy in comparison to my cramped urban experience. And it was so modern.”
That said, Paul does not have particularly fond memories of his time at St Mary’s.
His aim was to study Law at Hull University but, in the summer of 1968, failed to get the necessary grades so fell into a banking job: “That was possibly the least rewarding two years of my life!” says Paul.
In 1970, Paul joined the police force and, after spells with the Kent Constabulary and the City of London Force, Paul joined Sussex Police where he stayed for the remainder of his career, retiring in 2000, at the age of 50, as an Inspector.
Paul spent most of his career in the police force and was originally stationed at Margate
Between 1980 and 1987, Paul finally got his BA degree from the Open University and recalls sitting in the back of a Transit van outside a Nottinghamshire pit during the miners’ strike, reading Tolstoy’s ‘Anna Karenina.’
Later Paul worked for Crawley Council at Gatwick Airport in the Environmental Health team, until retiring at the age of 64.
Paul adds: “My personal life has been a little, shall I say, ‘varied’. My second marriage was in 2015. I have no children and I am now enjoying a relaxed and happy retirement. Although not sporting I have filled my time in other ways. I was a keen, if not very good, Morris Dancer for a number of years, with both Ditchling Morris and Rampant Rooster from Dorking. Shortly after retiring from the police I joined Sussex Search and Rescue, which assists the police in searching for vulnerable missing people. In later years I have been a member of my local first responder team Partridge Green Area Response Team and the National Coastwatch Institution, so I don’t have too much idle time.
Paul is still in touch with a number of other St Mary’s boys who started in 1961 including Phil May, John Grace Chris Sparks, Mick Seymour, Peter Downey, Jimmy Coles, Ralph and Graham Sharp, Kevin ‘Spud’ Murphy, Peter Saguiez, Peter Flannery and James Donaghue. They try to meet as often as they can.
The Class of ‘61. Paul, far left, with Phil May, Kevin ‘Spud’ Murphy, the late Alan Willson (RIP), Chris Sparks, Jim Coles and Peter Saguiez
Paul has since renounced Catholicism and now describes himself as an atheist.
Reflecting on his time at St Mary’s, Paul says: “To this day I regret having gone there. It prevented me from forming friendships in the area where I lived, my schoolmates being scattered over South-East London and North-West Kent. Being a single-sex establishment was far from uncommon in those days, but certainly did little to help my emotional development and corporal punishment seemed to be an essential part of the daily routine of teaching.
“It wasn’t Dotheboys Hall by any means, but neither was it ‘Goodbye Mr Chips’. It may just have been me, but I felt that there was little attempt to inspire. We got through things that we had to do.The school motto of ‘In Omnibus Labora’ (Do your homework on the bus!) seemed aimed at producing drones rather than innovators.
“Despite St Mary’s I have had a happy life and the one lesson I have learned, over the years, is not to regret past mistakes. As much as I think going to St Mary’s did me no favours I have, over the years, realised that saying “If only I had ….” is pointless. I now look only forwards and despite what my comments might suggest, I enjoy my life and am very much aware of how fortunate I am.”